My Journey with Music: What I've Learned

I started playing piano at the age of 7 years old. Now, at age 16, I can say that music has truly shaped my life and who I am.

My very first piano festival was when I was around 8 years old. At the time, I was shaking so badly that I completely forgot my first piece; I repeated the same section over and over again as I scrambled to piece the notes back together. My fingers trembled as I tried to hold back my panic, and I somehow fumbled my way to the end of the piece. I remember feeling totally mortified and humiliated.

However, I calmed down right at the start of my second piece, Windflowers, and my fear dissolved in the melody that flowed through me. Despite my failed attempt at playing my first piece, calming down and letting myself be free to express myself in my music taught me an important lesson: When you let go of your expectations and thoughts of "What if I mess up?" and when you let yourself enjoy what you're doing without any fear, that's when you can perform to the best of your ability.

Often, because we want to protect ourselves from getting hurt and from disappointment, we attempt to lower our expectations and compromise our abilities.

"I'm gonna fail my test" - I hear this so often, and I've definitely been guilty of saying this in the past too. How often do we discount ourselves just to shield ourselves from the blunt impact of failure?

The truth is, nobody wants to fail. Nobody wants to make mistakes but our fear of doing so stops us from believing that we can do it, that we can do anything we set our minds to.

Even if we don't feel ready, saying that things aren't gonna go well doesn't change the outcome. When you expect and anticipate failure, no matter if it's consciously or unconsciously, any chance of success drops to 0%.

And that is one of the most powerful lessons my journey with music has taught me: putting aside your expectations and fear can unlock your true potential and allow you to truly enjoy what you are doing.

When I performed at Carnegie Hall over the summer, it was a complete understatement to say that I was scared. I was very anxious and couldn't stop stressing over it weeks before the actual performance. When the big day finally came, I remember waiting backstage watching the other performances through the monitor. Their music was being broadcasted on the speakers in the green room yet all I could hear was my own pounding heartbeat. However, right before I stepped onstage, I reminded myself of how much I had dreamt of this moment. I reminded myself of how much I wanted to do well, and I promised myself that I would set aside my fear, just for a few minutes, and then I could go back to worrying after the performance.

No matter if the performance had gone well or not, the moment I chose to let go of my panic and worries, I had already succeeded.

Once I got out of my own way, the emotions and the music flowed through me, and I poured my soul into the piano, my excitement and happiness filling even the cracks between the keys.